The First Date

Your characters first date. We all know how successful or unsuccessful a first date can be. But do you know how you are going to write about it?

First dates, although they can be difficult to describe, it’s a feeling most of us know. Unless maybe you go on your first date with someone whom you are completely comfortable with already because your friends, then it may be a foreign feeling to you.

However, if you barely know the person beforehand, or sometimes even if you do, you will be nervous. I’m talking stutter your words, say the wrong thing, butterflies in your stomach, trip over your own feet nervous lol. But then again there are you lucky few in the world who are extremely confident and never experience any of those nervous moments. Think of the personalities of your characters though, would they be confident or nervous like most of us?

There is a first date that is described in my novel, however they knew each other a little beforehand. Even so, my main character reacts the way she is supposed to based on her personality.

Many steps take place for a first date to happen (these are just a basic example of them).

• The initial first meeting of said characters
• Flirting
• One asking the other out
• Preparing for the date (clothes, makeup, planning, etc.)
• The Butterflies in the stomach
• Nervous interaction, when picked up or first meeting somewhere
• The first date location
• Eating in front of each other for the first time (maybe)
• Awkward conversation
• If they’re lucky, first realization that this date could lead to a second
• And finally saying goodbye (awkward hug, kiss, or goodbye)
• Then the who calls who first scenario
• Ultimately hoping it leads to that second date

~So how do your characters meet? Is it love at first sight or do they annoy each other at first? The first meeting is important in the overall personality of both the characters and the relationship.

~Do they flirt? If so how well do they flirt? Or is it so awkward that it becomes more amusing than anything? Quite possibly, they could feel a little sorry for the other person for stumbling so bad over what they meant to say that they agree to the date anyways. Then it may even turn out to be one of the best decisions they ever made.

~Who asks who out? That’s a big one because generally it’s the most confident of the two. But on rare occasions the one who is least confident takes a chance and goes for the initial proposed date idea.

~Details, the date preparations…If you character is attracted to the other in any way. Then, what they wear, what they say and where they go will be extremely important. Usually it goes without saying that the one who did the asking out is the one who plans for the date. Where the date is and how they dress says a lot about them. It’s almost like dressing for a job interview, not to downplay the emotions and magic of a first date but that’s the truth. They want to become the other piece to the pair. So they will pay attention to details such as these (if they are truly interested, that is). In doing so it will tell the reader a lot about their personality as well.

~Oh, the nervous butterflies. I remember those quite well and still get those at times with my husband. They happen because of the unknown events ahead. Not knowing what the other one is thinking but feeling quite exhilarated to find out.

~Seeing each other the first time since they planned the date. The awkward/nervous, “Hi”. Either from one picking up the other at their home or meeting somewhere, it happens. They almost forget how to talk to someone lol.

~The first date location, can either be an amazing place or turn out to be horrible but it will still be a fond memory, that they hopefully share for a long time. This is another great opportunity for the readers to learn more about the location your characters live in as well as personality.

~Another opportunity for some light hearted humor in your novel. Is them eating in front of each other for the first time. Yes, you can choose to go the route where everything goes as planned and they already know what they will order without any issues. Or you can do the opposite and give an insight to that characters mind. Are they the type of person to order quickly or take forever looking at the menu because they are starving after a long day of work but because it’s a first date they are having trouble deciding? Not because they are difficult but they don’t want to look that hungry. Personally, I wasn’t worried about that with mine and my husbands first date, I was worried about how messy it would be to eat lol. Then when they finally start eating, are they avid napkin people? Just during this date or always? Are they a little OCD and adjust the silverware on the table so their straight because they’re nervous? Does one eat without a care in the world and the other is slightly turned off by it? There are many choices to go with here.

~Finally, time for the awkward starts to conversations. Obviously this will more than likely start to take place before the initial start of the meal but it would hopefully continue, if all goes well that is. Both starting at the same time, unknowing that the other was going to start talking, one offering the other to speak first. The weird conversation about the weather or something basic like that. The one chance to really get to know a little about the other person. Do they say the wrong thing? Or rather think they do and mentally scold themselves for it? Having a awkward first conversation with anyone can be difficult but when it’s a potential boyfriend or girlfriend the difficulty increases. If they are a shy person, it may feel like their tongue swells up and talking is out of the question lol. Sometimes a shy person and a confident person do great together because the confident one helps the shy one really be themselves…they bring out confidence the other didn’t know they had.

~If all goes well then at some point during hopefully the less awkward conversation part of the date, they start to think of a potential for a second date. Of course, it could also be the opposite and dread the idea of it. But hopefully it’s the first one. Something about the other person just makes them more optimistic then before. They become both physically and emotionally more attracted to the other. It gives you the chance to give that detail to your readers on what makes them more optimistic about the other person.

~Alas, the end of the date. When they have to leave that connection that they just felt, until the next time that is. For some it may feel like a relief, but for others it can feel like they could spend days talking to this person and it still not be enough (my husband and I felt that way and many others do as well). So in comes the awkward hug or kiss, the not really knowing if the other person feels the same way or not. Does your character go in for the kiss or just a hug? Maybe even just a wave goodbye?

~Waiting to see who calls who first? What a stressful time lol. Depending on the situation, this can be a pretty light humored situation to add as well. They could be incredibly impatient and not wait at all. Depending on each others personality that could be sweet or disturbing. So you want to try to make sure you emphasize which way it should be construed as. But it can be a very cute moment in their relationship.

~Last but not the least bit less stressful is if there is no call, will there even be a second date? Oh the pain of waiting lol. But readers don’t worry, writers always have a direction to take the story in a more interesting way. At least that’s what we try to do. What happens to stop the call? If they do call, where do you go on a second date?

Writing a story with a first date in it can be as fun or stressful as you want it to be. The amazing part of the matter is that everyone is different. Because we are all unique in our own ways, so would be a first date. They don’t all have to be the exact same. People meet under all kinds of different circumstances. Each couple is unique in their own way.

Play around with the story, have fun with this playful part of a relationship because they are getting to know each other. Think of your first date, be it with your significant other, or if it’s a relationship that didn’t work out but the first date was great. Incorporate those playful elements into it. Whether you are writing a Romance, a Thriller or in another genre, the first date is important. In my case for my current work in progress, for my characters, it is the light amongst the dark.

Thank you for reading my blog…Until next time…JUST KEEP WRITING.

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